Removing Yahoo! ID's and Friends

Here's the setup....
I'm using two of my Yahoo! ID's... jimjacknme and just_cow_thanks, so here I am... jimjacknme... and I had previously added my "friend" just_cow_thanks to my Yahoo! Messenger friends list, upon their acceptance to my request, their Yahoo! ID now shows up on my Yahoo! Messenger Friends List, and they are also automatically added to my Yahoo! Address Book.. but one day I wake up and decided I no longer want / need just_cow_thanks on my friends list.. I want to remove them.... what actually happens?

Yahoo! Messenger online Friends List (http://messenger.yahoo.com/edit/)	Yahoo! Address Book (http://address.yahoo.com)
Friends List Display via Yahoo! Messenger

Deleting Friends...
To remove ID's from your friends list
right click username > delete
gone, just like that... but by default, their entry still remains in your Yahoo! Address Book, unless during the Delete Contact confirmation screen you also select the option
Delete from Address Book, too
if you overlook this option and still wish to remove them from your address book, you can still do so (at any time) via your browser at Yahoo! Address Book.

Here's where some of the speculation comes into play....
"Does removing someone from my friends list and / or address book, also remove my details from their list?"
The answers is a simple.... no.
Removing a friend from your own Yahoo! Messenger friends list or Yahoo! Address Book does not remove your details from their Friends List or Address Book, you remain on their Friends List and Address Book, until they themselves wish to delete your details.

"Will they get told that I have removed them "
Answer: no
Your friends don't get sent any notification from Yahoo! that you have removed them from your friends list or address book.

"If I delete them from list but I am still on their list, can I re-add without their permission?"
Answer: no
If you have deleted their entry from your friends list and should you at any stage wish to re-add them, you will need to send through another Add to Messenger List Request and wait for their approval, even though you youself my still be listed on their friends list.

"if you apply Stealth settings to a friends Yahoo! ID then you delete them from your friends list, do those settings still stealth settings still apply?"
For me, my own personal experience... No, they are no longer applicable. Once I remove a users Yahoo! ID from my friends list, all previous Stealth settings are no longer valid, the user is still able to see my online comings and goings as view all my status messages.

On to Ignore...
If you know or believe your Yahoo! ID is still on the users friends and wish to hide or keep your online status from them (and no longer receive IM's), once you have removed them from your friends list you need to add them to your Ignore list.
from within Yahoo! Messenger
click on Messenger > Preferences > Ignore List
click Add, then enter their ID
hit Ignore
click Apply
click Ok

Do they know you have put them on Ignore?
No. They get no notifcation that you have added them.

One thing you need to remember though, despite having adding them to your Ignore List (which means they can still send you IM's but you won't receive them, nor will they be able to see your online status on their friends list) if they log into any Yahoo! Property (Yahoo! Answers, Yahoo! Groups etc) your online status (Yahoo! Presence which you can also add to your blog, homepage etc) will still be available and visible to them if you have this option enabled.

If you don't wish for your status to be available to all users simply login to Yahoo! Messenger
click Messenger > Preferences > Privacy
under When I Sign Into Yahoo! Messenger
disable "Allow Yahoo! web sites to show when I am online"
click Apply, click OK.
This will mean your status is now only available to via the Yahoo! Messenger friends list

and / or

login to http://edit.yahoo.com/config/eval_profile
click on Create / Edit profiles (right hand side of page in column)
under your Public Profiles is "Check the box to hide my online status (online) from other users"
click the box to the left of it to disable online status
don't forget to click Finish Editing (button at the top or bottom of the page)

Remove MY name from THEIR list...
Ignoring a user can be enough for some, but for others they want to go one step further, they want to remove their own Yahoo! ID from another persons friends list... now back in the good old days Yahoo! themselves use to provide it's users with a Deny a Buddy web page (http://chat.yahoo.com/c/nobuddy.html since removed) that let Yahoo users remove our ID's from other Yahoo! Friends list, all we had to do was sign in our ID, enter the ID of the friend whose list we were on, add a message if we wanted to, then hit the button and it was a done deal.. these days we don't have that option available, at least not directly from Yahoo! which is how and why programs called "Deny A Buddy" came about.

There are quite a few Deny a Buddy programs, utilties and web pages around, if you do use one be very aware that you are doing so at your own risk... all Deny a Buddy programs/pages require you to enter your current Yahoo! ID and password... so a word of caution.. if the site or program looks dodgy then don't do it, a bad choice could mean loosing control and access to your Yahoo! ID... you have been warned :)

I picked two programs to test out, be aware than in no way am I saying "use these!", they are simply the choices I made, based on my own knowledge of the creators utilities, my own comfort levels... and more importantly.. using a Yahoo! ID that I wouldn't be too upset about should it all go to custard on me... need I say more about the risks involved...

The Goal: Removing my Yahoo! ID (jimjacknme) from my friends (just_cow_thanks) Messenger friends list

No Buddy Utility (download) from nobuddy.zak.2ya.com
Enter you Yahoo! ID and Password (remember the risks involved in doing this)
enter the Yahoo! ID of the friend who has you on their list
hit Click to Remove their ID
if the login was successul you will see REMOVED in the bottom panel (as shown below)

If just_cow_thanks is logged it at the time the may receive the message "Add Buddy Declined" (if logged in via Meebo.com) or Add Contact Request Denied (if logged in via Yahoo! Messenger), or no message / notification at all, it's that this point though that your Yahoo! ID is no longer available on their friends list.

The quirks: As to if this works as expected is hit and miss as it depends greatly on if they are logged into Yahoo! Messenger at the time and if they logged into the Yahoo! Network via another application or browser based IM service. There is little doubt that your ID is removed from their friends list, because in each situation it was removed... BUT under some circumstances your friend can in fact add you BACK onto to their list without your notification or approval, and this happend more often than not. The program is somewhat dated (1 July 04) which perhaps explains some of the quirks...

DAB3 (download) by Trolling Around
Enter you Yahoo! ID and Password (remember the risks involved in doing this)
enter the Yahoo! ID of the friend who has you on their list
hit Action to Remove their ID
if the login was successul you will see Rejection acknowledged scroll along the bottom

The quirks: As with nobuddy, it seems to depend greatly on how your friend is connected, or not, at the time you remove them from your list. If connected directly to Yahoo! Messenger the same Add Contact Request Denied is sent through, what does seem to be more reliable with DAB3 is that it's a lot harder for your friend to re-add you to their list without your permission. I didn't get to test DAB3 under all circumstances so perhaps it too will have it's own quirks, but in the scenarios where nobuddy failed DAB3 seemed to have no issues at all.

Conclusion: Either service isn't subtle. There appears to be no conclusive way of quietly removing yourself from your friends list, both programs do offer the opportunity to send a message with the Deny notice, but whether you elect to send a message or not there seems to be no way you can avoid the blaring Add Contact Request Denied message going through if they are connected with Yahoo! Messenger. If you use any friend removal service you are perhaps best to assume that it may or may not have worked, there seems to be no guarantee that removing yourself from somone elses list will work as expected, you may in fact still be listed in their address book and you may in fact have been re-added to their list without your knowledge or permission... try it if you need to.. but don't bet your morning coffee on it being a done deal.